So Begins The Change

Okay, I just logged on into my Blogger dashboard, and it’s kinda weird when the last-updated blog (i.e. The blog shown at the top of the dashboard) is NOT http://fineattitude.blogspot.com/. Rather, it’s http://rafflesrow.blogspot.com/.

That is very odd and uncomfortable a feeling. I’m so used with this blog (the one you’re reading now, yes) being the first thing I click on when I log in.

Also that means, now I have to find TWO skins to redo TWO blogs. Well done! ><

Anyway, speaking of which, I have decided to CHANGE MY BLOG HOST because changing the skin of this blog (yes, the one you’re reading now) is a real bitch.

No more Blogger, which is some screwed up little piece of whack when I try to upload photos, but I’m instead changing my host (not my domain though, not yet, at least) to WORDPRESS!

Oh my goodness. I’m so in love with how professional it ALL looks, although the task of reformatting and transferring my files over is such a pain in the ass.

Plus, there are so many more varieties of WordPress pages which are so much more simpler (PLUS CLASSIER-LOOKING!) to upload to the Template, instead of having to rearrange the HTML of everything I’ve got if I want to change a Blogger skin, none of which have by the way satisfied me.

Hence, it means that I’m currently trying to make changes.

Don’t expect to see anything new from this blog for a while.

BUT STILL VISIT.

Just in case SURPRISES POP OUT.

Like new ramblings ’cause I felt like it.

OR A TOTALLY COOLER, NEWER LOOK.

Yessiree!

Electing Leaders / Accidentally Hypocritical

So anyway, as you know if you study in Raffles, the council elections are upon us!

Yes, yes, exciting, exciting.

Interestingly enough, all of a sudden everyone is willing to do things for you, and everywhere you go suddenly everyone is so nice, and ironically enough egos are allowed to fluctuate every hour or so.

Well, I got 15 votes with me, and you may say they are not important, but like they say in The Simpsons Barn Burner (or some other Simpsons comic I read), EVERY VOTE COUNTS.

Well, I don’t know who I’m voting for yet in other houses, but in my house, Morrison-Richardson, I pretty have a good idea who I’m voting for.

And just like in the style of the Obama-Clinton battle, I will now reveal who I will cast my votes for in MR (a la an exit poll thing):

In no particular order:
1. Ng Chen Xuan / Julian Goh (I actually have a bit of dilemma over these two, dunno why…)
2. Alina Tan
3. Bryan Chia Wen Song
4. Jarrell Goh Ye Lone
5. Cai Mingzhe
6. Jane Lim
7. Claire Lim / Ada Chua (They offer the same skills, so I’m only voting for either)

Before you get angry over my choices (or lack of them), let me first say I made my picks according to how well I know them. The above 9 people I have met over the course of my 4 months so far, and most of them I have even known since Secondary School. Because of this I have a rough idea of their leadership skills, talents and ideas.

Before I go on to say anything else, I must first say I cannot stand outright incompetence. Incompetence for incompetence’s sake is pointless. If you’re not cut out to lead a task, DON’T VOLUNTEER TO TAKE THE REINS.

It’s not like you ditched things to have fun, or you had prior commitments, which is irresponsible but at least I would understand (yes, unfortunately, I would, which is why I’m not running for council).

It’s actually because you just don’t have ample ability to take things under control. Which is really sucky.

Hence I would like to believe that I made the right choices; MOST of the MRians above are not outrightly incompetent.

Jarrell is highly talented in artistic skills – he is most suited for design work, poster/banner/T-shirt creation, etc. He is an extremely funny person! You should hear his jokes! Great and fun person!

Mingzhe is good at leading overall – he can get things done, and nothing garners more respect from me than someone who can GET THINGS DONE. He can mobilize people quickly, and he knows how to multitask well. He can take people to task for mistakes, yet ensure he still keeps his cheerful attitude.

Alina I know through Drama Feste, and she is a very capable person. She is most suited for communications work, and she can get information out fast and efficiently (do not mistake this for a great gossip skill, though some may confuse the two).

Bryan I’ve known for ever, and the best part about him is that he leads with heart. Though I personally prefer a person who leads with an iron grip, it is sometimes imperative that a leader puts heart into things so he can understand better.

Chen Xuan is ex-House Captain, and I would say he and Julian are very similar. They take a laidback approach to affairs, and though some may see that as incompetence (it’s easy to see why) I think sometimes maybe less stressful atmospheres generate better ideas. However, I’m only voting for one out of the two, so I’ve to make a choice.

Claire and Ada present the same personality too – bubbly, efferverscent (shit, this is so chem), and when they work on tasks they can keep focused on the work at hand, but still can keep their humour throughout. That is commendable.

Jane Lim I don’t know AS well as I know the others, but from what I’ve seen and heard she’s a person who’s willing to take risks and make changes. She’s fit in really well (from SCGS to RJC) and I think that given time, she’ll be able to make some bigger changes overall, and intergrate students better into the school system.

Not that I find the others MR-ians not respectable, or not good or not anything in any way. It’s just that from what I know and have gone through so far, these people I have mentioned above are the people that have shown true experience, skill and star quality (which is of course super important).

And if you know me, I value solid experience over an inspiring message any time (i.e. Clinton > Obama) which ensures that the candidates can deliver.

If you’re not in the list, it means I don’t think you can deliver.

Or, I just don’t know you that well.

Anyway, second part of my post!

I accidentally hypocriticalized myself (yes, I made that term up)!!!!!

I followed Earth Hour and everything. I nearly became a complete tree-hugger. Totally left my house in the dark (resulting in my mother screaming as she bumped her toe), BUT BUT BUT! Recently something happened that kinda erased my good deed.

I OVERPRINTED PAGES FOR my Creative Arts Programme portfolio!

You know how people usually print double-sided pages for reports right? Well, my printer can’t do that, and it never occurred to me I could manually flip the paper around (and print alternate pages) to get double-sided pieces! So after i was done, I was like, “Hmm. Shit. That was a waste of paper.”

So I thought, okay, that’s fine. That way, if I want to make last minute changes, I’ll just have to print one new side and not waste so much ink. I’ll reuse and recycle the paper I don’t want.

After I was done with the master copy, I went to the printing shop in RJC to try to photocopy three copies of it. I THINK I told the woman to make everything double-sided, but somehow there was a miscommunication and I ended up having THREE THICK BOOKS OF one-sided writing!

OH. MY. GOD.

I really didn’t care about the $17.40 I paid. It was more about the amount of trees that went into making my work tangible!!! And SO MUCH FOR MY ADVOCACY ON SAVING THE EARTH!!!

I was really guilty, okay. No thanks to Natasha, Camilla and Rita for, “WHAT did the Earth EVER DO TO YOU?!?!”

But what’s done was done. I chose not to waste more money and paper and ink reprinting double-sided books. In the end to resolve the problem, I included this message with my books:

AN ECO-FRIENDLY MESSAGE

In the course of my work and preparation of my portfolio I printed all my works on individual sheets of paper so if I wanted to re-do any one portion of my work I would not have to waste ink and paper reprinting two sides.


It turns out that when I completed all my works they amounted to a lot of paper. I then decided to leave the blank facing pages as commentary pages for the judges and other readers to write commentary and notes.

But I realized that was not enough.

So I implore you, if ever you should decide to throw this book away, to think twice and instead, RECYCLE it. All the paper inside won’t go to waste; they will instead become new paper for other people out there to use.

Remember to Reuse or Recycle this book!

Yes, it sounds rather odd, and even Yao Guang said it’s kinda weird.

But I DONT CARE. Hopefully the MOE people can read this and KNOW WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY. I’m super uber guilty okay.

I don’t mean to be hypocritical. I KNOW, it kinda is right now, but as long as that note is not discarded, and the eco-friendly message is adhered to, then I think I can make up for things here.

Fuck. It sucks right now.

Daaaaamn the guilt.

New Skin Needed

OK, so for a long time (a bit over one year, or maybe even longer, I didn’t check) you have seen THIS BLOG LAYOUT.

Like, here. THIS blog layout u see right now.

Neat, yet messy. Simple color schemes, yet complicatedly not matching. Paradoxical and contradictory, a lot like me.

BUT here’s the thing…

I NEED A NEW SKIN!

I find that this blog layout doesn’t appeal to me anymore, and in fact it’s getting harder and harder to redesign according to certain phases of the year.

For example, the best one I ever did was the Halloween re-design, which was basically all black, with white fonts, and a large Jack-O-Lantern as the top photo.

Others have not been as good. Valentine’s Day, for example, proved to be so difficult. The pink-red color scheme I used ‘hurt people’s eyes’ (thanks, Claire), so in the end I kept the top photo of a rose and changed the background to white instead.

White, of course, was predominantly used during the Christmas theme, with the top photo of a snow-covered field and hut. I found that white was the best, being clean and pristine, but at the same time, it was rather boring.

There are many other themes I did, but I’ve realized it’s time for a change.

Even though manipulating the HTML for this site has been VERY easy (to touch up or change the sidebar, I just have to literally instant-add my HTML) I’m now looking for a new look!

This site design, firstly, was by a teenage blogger/designer, Puppie89, who is known for her simplistic layouts – B&W, for example, or simple box-picture combinations (like the one I’m using now, called Trees of Sadness).

I’m browsing through some of her other work now, but none of them appeal to me just yet. Sorry, girl!

Then Felicia Day introduced me to this guy’s website, http://www.mattbrett.com/, and I really really like it!

Of course I can’t steal his site look (duh…) but word has it he’s releasing some of his free WordPress themes and hopefully I can incorporate them into Blogspot, if not, CHANGE MY URL!!! (GASP! First change EVER!)

I guess what I’m looking for is a multi-pronged sort of layout. Like, not just my posts, lumped up into one chunk, but able to be spread out and divided into genres.

So that it’d be easier, for people who read my blog to navigate and find, for example, Single of the Week, reviews (of movies and music and books), my wish list, Matching Music with Moods, my own writings of poetry and plays, or just plain rants and complaints.

Right now, everything is just thrown in together into one big mess of words. I’m hoping to change that and make the blog more specialized, I guess.

After all, it’s JC life already. If I don’t start getting things organized, it doesn’t really bode well for me and my ability to keep my affairs under control.

So, anyway, back on point, if anyone, ANYONE at all, has an idea like that, a skin of that sort or a blog theme that can be used, please PLEASE do contact me! I need a change badly! Get rid of the past year’s karma and web energy and stuff, and start new things!

Thanks also, to Miss Day for the heads-up to Brett’s site…I won’t use his stuff I guess, since you’re going to, but if you actually buy one of his custom layouts DO LET ME SEE! Input from various sources is always welcome!

P.S. This new scheme now will probably be the last of this skin… Already I have had people telling me this look is too drab and gloomy… and the words are hard to read. AHHH!!! Every blogger’s nightmare is upon me!

P.P.S HAPPY APRIL FOOLS’ DAY!

Singapore Drama

OK, so you guys know my life is usually filled with the maniacal cases of drama and excitement. Sometimes I don’t even call for this drama; the drama just comes to me, like in the case of my CCAs, or taxi rides even.

And here it is again. This uncalled drama has descended upon my life again, but this time on a much bigger scale.

MY PARENTS’ ESTATE IS BEING PUT EN-BLOC!

Now, I live in Serangoon Gardens, Porchester Avenue, but that piece of property is actually under the name of my grandma (ownership deeds and all) who is currently living in another part of Singapore. My parents own a HUDC under my father’s name proper, and that’s in the nearby Serangoon North Ave 1, which is like a 20 minute walk away, or 7 minutes if on bus (I timed it once, okay?).

AND NOW…

THAT SERANGOON NORTH AVE 1 estate is going to be reclaimed!

Okay, firstly, I have to disclaim: I don’t know how the hell to use the term, “En Bloc.”

Is it like, “The estate is being PUT en-bloc?”

Or is it like, “The estate is en-bloc?”

Or is it, “The estate is going to BE en-bloc?”

I completely have no idea. Will someone with a proper grasp of this very-Singaporean term please tell me (on my tagboard or MSN) HOW to properly use the word!

Anyway…

So my parents are all torn-up over this decision of whether to let the government take back the land or not. The entire up-and-down block of residents are all in a tizzy as well, and everytime we see each other in lifts it’s always the question of “Whether or not to sell?!”

My mother is considering selling, while I am DEADSET against selling it. My father, however, is still un-aligned.

Usually during the weekdays I’ll come back to THIS house (because the 156 bus stop is nearer to access) but during the weekends I’ll go to Serangoon Gardens (which at first sight, makes not much diff really because they’re so close to each other).

But the main difference is, outside Serangoon North Ave 1, there is this most marvelous field ever, which is like, basically a great plot of grass and soil and little bugs and creatures. And when I come home late at night (or even at 8 pm after training), I walk past this field, and it’s really beautiful and calming because here the stars (and an occasional satellite) can be viewed so clearly.

Not like Pulau Ubin or Colorado Rocky Regions that kind of night-sky-amazing, but like ten stars, individual and stunning, holding their own in the black abyss of night. Plus, here I can view the full moon magnificently.

And sometimes, when I come home early (which is VERY rare, by the way), I’ll watch my Ellen DeGeneres show, and then go down to the field and lie down in the middle of it (trust me, it’s huge, exactly like how you see it in indie films) and just look up at the early evening clouds.

I’m quite sure many others have had experienced the wonderful effects of the field too. People have flown remote-controlled aeroplanes there, Indian dudes have played cricket on its grass, kids have played badminton and flown kites, and it is just somehow understood to all of us that the field is a pristine place, so full of good energy, that everyone just keeps it clean naturally.

There is no litter in the field, except on the very outskirts of the field near the bus-stop, where idiot passers-by drop sweet wrappers and plastic bags occasionally. The field can even be used for ge tai and professional photoshoots.

Though the building itself leaves much to be desired (two people have committed suicide here; one WAAAY long ago, the other only two years back) I really enjoy how on the weekends, people are happy, the area is peaceful, and there is no mad rush of traffic or various other nonsense to disturb that tranquility.

I’m going to let my mother read this post, man.

Anyway, hopefully the other residents don’t vote for selling it. I wouldn’t like to throw nice memories away, and lose one of my sources of contemplation and inspiration just like that.

From what I know, there is also a drama currently showing on Channel 5, called “En Bloc” too, and it’s like Growing Up (which I watched when I was very young, starring Lim Kay Tong and Irin Gan) but modernized. Maybe I’ll get around to watching it if I have the time.

Speaking of modern dramas, you know how much gripe I have about local productions, in specifics the quality of Chinese drama, because it is the only type of production constantly around nowadays.

And can I say how GLAD I am that a good show like “Just in Singapore” has been created?

If you haven’t watched it yet, you’d better soon (next week marks the final 5 eps in the series) and it is full of fun!

Compared to the sappy love stories in the past which are forgettable and uninteresting, Just in Singapore is a new and refreshing representation of life in the poorer areas of our country! Plus, the characters are well fleshed out, not one-dimensional at all, and the acting is superb!

Probably the best actress in the whole show (yes, the WHOLE drama) is Lee Yin Zhu, who plays Auntie Automatic (Zi Dong Sao), this barbaric woman who dominates most of her son Saman’s life (played by the late MC King) and abuses her unassertive daughter-in-law Qianqian both physically and psychologically (though it’s more of the latter).

She is probably the best villian to have come on the TV screen for a long time (the only other memorable villian I can think of was Dong Meiyao’s father in The Unbeatables eons ago) and she plays up that role with more horrendous antics like accusing the nice neighbour Mr. Fang of molesting her just because he refuses to accept her advances, and also mass food-poisoning Indian construction workers nearby! She also suspects her daughter-in-law is having an affair with Ma Zhigang (played by Adam Chen), which is completely not true and makes her character even more evil!

Which brings me to say that the 2nd best actress in the whole show is the girl who plays Qianqian! Apple Hong is amazing! She starts out strong, a good, hopeful girl from Vietnam, but over the course of the drama deteriorates until she nearly dies at the end! We also see many of Zi Dong Sao’s concocted assumed scenarios playing out in Zi Dong Sao’s mind, like the non-existent affair, and how Qianqian stole the 4-D ticket (which she did not), and the best part is that the actress who plays Qianqian can do EVERY single one of those scenarios!

3rd best acting in the whole show is a tie between Huang Wen Yong (an ex-star who now drives a taxi) and Fiona Xie (his daughter with the same yearning to sing). Fiona Xie is TERRIBLY pitiful, with her ambition squashed by her mother (Chen Li Ping) who thinks singing won’t get her anywhere and favors her scheming half-sister A LOT more. She also likes a university film undergraduate who, unfortunately, is being hindered by that scheming half-sister who wants to use the undergrad to get her birth father to acknowledge her.

Speaking of which, that guy who plays the undergrad, Kang Chengxi, can’t act. Seriously. I last saw him with Felicia Chin in that drama about the mobile food van, and his acting was so stiff and dreadful I couldn’t stand any of his scenes. It isn’t much better here.

I only wish the ENDING of the whole thing would be good. The writers of the show have set us up for a great finale, and I only hope they don’t let the viewers down like they did with that dreadful ending on The Golden Path.

Anyway, Singapore Drama is picking up! Not just on TV (and that’s a good thing!) but also in my life (which MAY not be a good thing…)!

Time to get the popcorn, sit back and watch the shows unfold!

P.S. Forget to advert for the show. 9 pm, Channel 8! MUST WATCH!

Recent Updates in my Life

Firstly, Yonghao (the guy I go to know through Ye Wei) GOT TO MEET KT TUNSTALL IN PERSON! Like, she actually came out after the show and he got an autograph and pho-freakin-to!

***I’M DAMN JEALOUS CAN!!!***

Makes me kinda sad that I didnt follow the Concert-Goers’ Rulebook of Musts rule #16: Always stay around after concerts in case the artiste is bored backstage.

Anyway, yes, this post is to update you guys on what’s happening in my life recently (at least things which are HAPPY and WORTH DECLARING, because trust me, many sadder things have been happening recently).

Yeah, so I went to KT Tunstall’s Drastic Fantastic Tour, and can I say it was amazing!!! Went with Rui Ling, met Walter, Derek and Joan there, and had one of the best nights of 2008 so far!

The amazing thing about KT Tunstall’s concert was the fact that the audience can see how much she loves her music. Compare her with Gwen Stefani. There are no Harajuku Girls, no antics, no hands-on-hips pose. Compare her with Christina Aguilera. She doesn’t belt, and she actually comes back out for an encore when the crowd asks for it. Compare her with Avril Lavigne. Definitely less attitude, and if you can believe it, more fun.

She opened with Little Favours, Miniature Disasters and when she came around to Other Side of the World I nearly cried because the last “Full of tired excuses” was so amazingly heartfelt. She continued with songs from Drastic Fantstic like Hold On, White Bird, Funnyman, Paper Aeroplane and Hopeless (which had a funny joke about her concert in Australia related to it).

I also finally got my first listen (LIVE, mind you!) of KT Tunstall’s famed Wee Bastard, which she utilized prominently in Black Horse and the Cherry Tree. More hits followed, like Under The Weather, Someday Soon, Another Place to Fall (I’m pissed, and I’ll tell you why), If Only, Saving My Face and the big hit Suddenly I See, which had a cool close-to-a-minute intro of the opening rhythm.

She went offstage, returned when the crowd roared deafeningly, and finished off the show with four more amazing songs. My fave, Universe & U, featured the most amazing high note I’ve ever heard from KT ever, Rui Ling’s favorite Stoppin’ The Love was also performed, and in between she even squeezed in a rendition of The Bangles’ Walk Like An Egyptian, which saw more than half the crowd doing the weird Egyptian head-bob-strut thing. Finally she ended with a crowd-rousing I Don’t Want You Now, complete with a powerful guitar solo at the end.

Even though the crowd roared great at the end, they were rather muted. Fine and all when KT’s telling her stories and interval-fillers, which included jokes about no one decaying because everyone eats preservatives, her take on plastic surgery (which involved a massive hand), and a childhood fear of letting her parents see/hear her work (“It’s a dogshit”).

But I still can’t believe the crowd actually SAT DOWN for Another Place to Fall! Are you kidding me?!?!?!

That song is one helluva high-energy, full-of-attitude-and-spunk song, and everyone sat down! And when I stood up, Rui Ling was like, “Eh, people behind may not be able to see.” So I turned around to assess the situation, and the two middle-aged freaking aunties behind me glared at me angrily like I was some spouse-stealer or something.

GOOOOD, I WAS SO ANNOYED! Precisely because the crowd was so freaking old! Like minimum 30s can! And that’s not so bad, IF THEY ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT TO DO AT A CONCERT!

I tell you, people over 30 SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED INTO CONCERTS unless they can prove themselves worthy. So what if you pay money? So what if you pay Mastercard? So what if you’re Donald Trump or Bill freakin’ Gates? If you don’t know what to do when the artiste performs, you don’t deserve to go in!

Plus ah, in front of us got this ang-moh guy, super tall, then everytime I clapped or raised my hands over my head to whoop, he would actually flinch. Like he was going to duck to avoid being slapped by my so-totally-missing-the-mark hands, but decided not to in the last minute. He kept looking at me disdainfully.

UNBELIEVABLE.

I’m going to dedicate a whole post to that man.

Anyway, today went on my first CIP (for the whole year! Wooo!) with Kennedy, Chinks, Marcus, Changzhong and Shenghao (a mini-Canoeing thing) to Bishan Park Secondary School for the first in many-to-come weekly Friday afternoon Maths tutor session!

Yes, I know it’s very ironic and I’m really REALLY not qualified (as Marcus and Changzhong have pointed out to me repeatedly…=.=). I wanted to teach English/ Literature first, but unfortuately (for me, and MAYBE the students) it wasn’t an option. Right now it’s still easy, ratio and percentages, so it’s okay… WHEW, thankfully.

The kids there are really great, and they’re fun and really high energy. Some might say they’re rowdy or hard to control, but damn, when you’re in a world this bleak, and you’re around people who are dark, emotional and too damn depressing, and everything is all about grades and achievements, having these guys around really changes much of my outlook.

OK, very lastly, do not forget tomorrow is…

*drumrolls*

EARTH HOUR!

For the uninitiated…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth_Hour

For the EVEN MORE uninitiated… http://www.earthhour.org/

8 pm to 9 pm Singapore local time!

TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS, wherever you are! (Unless, of course, you’re out in Orchard Road)

I’ll be doing it at home, and I’ll be patiently just sitting around the house meditating, perhaps with a bit of candles and a spot of tea. It WILL BE FUN!

Save the Earth! We all need to play parts!

P.S. ***STILL JEALOUS OF YONGHAO***

P.P.S. Btw, KT Tunstall has so many guitars, and they ALL look so nice. I love the black-and-white Gibson one best… and I’m sure the concertgoers who read my post will agree with me!

Single of the Week (25.03.08)

Single of the Week

25.03.08

Say
Artiste: Ryan Cabrera
Album: The Moon Under Water

You won’t believe how important an intro is to a song. For example, when I heard Jason Mraz’s weak start on I’m Yours, I just didn’t bother to listen any more because I didn’t think the song could be impactful enough. Besides, I hate banjos. Till now, I still haven’t finished a full listen of I’m Yours yet.

In contrast, Ryan Cabrera’s Say has one of the most fantastic intros I’ve ever heard. The repeating clap track is brilliant enough, and combined with the good drum start and early vocals, created a good setup to the rest of the song.

Then the question became, with such a marvelous intro, could the song get any better (or remain just as good)?

You bet. The verses are well-phrased and rather meaningful upon review. Although the chorus reminds me too much of the ‘Hardogay’ video (coming from a very corrupted class like 4C, I know all about that leather-wearing Japanese weirdo) and the “SAY SAY SAY” the main character declares like a mad bitch.

But the highlight of this song is definitely from 01′24″ to 02′09″, where it features an amazing drum rush arrangement, and after that a quiet break from the action, with a solo keyboard key and a slightly-there muffled ride cymbal beat (or so I gleamed from repeated listening), followed by a short second verse with more brilliant lyric phrasing.

Another highlight is at 02′48″, where Ryan stops singing and lets the instruments carry the weight of the song for a few seconds, before he gives background vocals and adds to the overall flavour of the tune. I didn’t like the abrupt ending though; the final “Say” didn’t really do it for me.

I thought the song could have ended better if a repeated short drum piece were used to end the song with a literal bang, like how the song started in the first place.

Definitely Mr. Cabrera’s best song so far. It doesn’t have the overly-commercial pop sound of On The Way Down, and it is definitely catchy enough, unlike the boring sound of True.

If all the other songs on The Moon Under Water sound like this first single, then you can be sure I’ll be getting the album first thing once it comes out!

To download the single, click on this link:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/9496617a6c3a42/

If you like this single, go get the album when it comes out in coming summer 2008! (Already I have a good impression of it already!)

Am I Living It Right?

Sometimes, I can’t help but feel that everything in one’s life can be so fragile, and so easily broken.

Things you know happen around you all the time, and you are powerless to stop these things happen. The only control you have over your own life is the decisions you make, and that’s the extent of power you have over your own life. Sometimes, once you make the decisions, simple things like words can break them and shatter your being.

Think about it.

As students, first and foremostly, it is difficult for us to go through our life without influence and others’ controls.

Parents and teachers control us, or control our paths and directions. Their purpose is clear; they are there to help us succeed, they are there to give us the best they have to offer, and they are there to help us along.

Though in my experience, there are a handful, but mostly a handful, of teachers whose purpose is not that; their purposes are to further their own careers, or they just want to get things done without concern for their students’ welfare.

Then there is the influence of peers. The fashion advice, the ‘in’-crowd, the drugs, booze, smoking and sex influences.

This isn’t USA, but these stuff still happen. Their influence still holds strong.

Am I living it right? You may wonder.

I go for CCAs, I go for class, I prepare my portfolio, I get involved in activities, and I need to still find time to find myself.

Am I living it right?

You ARE living it fine.

If you’re not smoking, not taking drugs, not overly-sexing yourself up. If you’re not overly stressed till the point you cannot think clearly or you find life meaningless. If you have enough things in life to look forward to (and you will, even if you think you don’t), and you can still be yourself. Then, yes, you are living it fine.

Not extremely well, but you’ll be just fine.

There is always the presence of others and sideways factors in your life – and that’s okay. Just know who you are. Let these factors exist, and you can even use some to guide you, or like I do, to provide inspiration and material for blog posts and scripts. But remember you have no one to answer to but yourself.

I’m writing this as much for myself as for some of this blog’s readers.

People have been saying things to me, have been attacking me, have been criticizing me, have been commenting on me, have been depriving me, have been lying to me, have been fighting against me.

And when you’re at home, just thinking, just finding inspiration and yourself, you’ll wonder what is going on; why are things so different from days when concepts were simpler and life was less stressful and less dependent on others’ mindsets and views.

Things are different now. We wonder, but that’s all we can do.

Move on, and let’s live life loud.

SONNET FOR A FRIEND

Dedicated to: Nabilah! Who left our Lit class VERY late last term, and whom we miss for her bubbly energy and antics! Still see her during lit lectures and in canteen though! I agreed to write this 14-line sonnet for her! She’s been waiting a long time for it, ‘cos I promised to put it up, but I’m only putting it up now!

When was this sun ever so cold?
Like clams of oceans lost their hearts
Where men died under painful bouts
The spirits of they, so brave and bold.

Loss, green-eyed beast, burning time
Gone was the friend who could soothe
Gone is the rock, from under which hid truth
That exists purely in a mariner’s rime.

But end opens the new door
Loss is but a word to speak
For one who leaves now leaves the bleak
She enters a world not seen before

The turning world moves, as they said it would
And hath never a woman, who had such solitude.

Seems kinda emo and depressing at the start, but it gets better, volta and all.

Keep things going, everyone!