Quote of the Day

“Winning America’s Next Top Model is a big milestone in my life. I have learnt so much things that I can take back home with me. That, and the fact I can tell people, “I won Antm.”

– Naima deserves some credit, yeah?

LOCAL goes GOOD!

I recommend two new items on the market.

The first is a book by a local author, Jason Hahn. He is the author of Asking For Trouble: Tales of Saffy and Amanda. Anyone who reads 8Days would know this excellent writer whose deadpan humor is the success story in all of his books. Excellent stuff. Worth your time to analyze and understand, especially all the topics talked about are societical and real accounts.

The second is the new local movie, The Maid. It is a very spooky, fright-filled, punchy movie, that, when finished, will leave you scared and imbalanced. It’s best to watch this with a friend and you’ll understand this fully only when you focus on the subliminal plot within the scares. More on that coming up.

This month, LOCAL goes GOOD!

The BITCH Files

Featuring my bitchy endeavors throughout my school life…

Today was a very weird day. When I was at Thomson Plaza with a friend, J Ho, we were just innocently buying stuff to eat and talking about everyday stuff. Then when we about to leave, this sloppy-looking guy with absolutely NO dress sense came up to us and started to talk to us, like “Wah, my brother is a millionaire and he also don’t eat like you” and “Your school very near meh?”
OMG. A crazy coot. Either that, or he knew one of us. I asked J, “You know him?”
J shook his head. I turned away, and stalked off. Then the coot went on the offensive, saying,
“Even if you die, nobody will notice and bother!” He yelled. “Think you very good is it? I tell you, I’m better than you! Don’t be so boastful, later car knock you down!”
By this point, I had SO lost my patience. And J could tell. He stepped aside for me to do my stuff.
“Excuse me, if YOU were to die in a car crash, not only would no one notice, but they would all laugh! As for dying, I think youll die first, from mental disorders! And if you’re better than me, try insulting me AGAIN!”
The man growled. “So rude! I’m from your school too! So rude! Didn’t anyone teach you to respect your elders?”
My God. THIS MAN WAS INTOLERABLE.
I retaliated again, “Excuse me, but I only respect people with a brain! And hence you’re not worth my respect!”
The man said again, “Don’t say, I tell you. Later lightning come and…”
I quickly cut in, “Strikes you?”
The coot had also pestered an Indian man and an old woman earlier, and they were both looking at me in awe. Obviously, they had never learnt how to handle crazy uncles.
“Obviously,” I said aloud. “You’re not from my school, because I don’t remember any student there becoming such a FAILURE!”
With that, me and J walked off.
J said later that the coot had touched his butt and shoulders.
I said, “Better wash yourself with Dettol. He might be contagious.”

What’s Hot… And NOT!

What’s Hot…
CSI: Miami on AXN! Hot cars, even hotter forensics detectives, and a whole bevy of beauties who commit crimes. With characters like that, plus excellent plots, good twists and freaky, gross-you-out stuff, it is the new show to watch on cable. Move over, Six Feet Under!

What’s Not…
POOR Jon! In case no one in Singapore knows yet, Manhunt winner Jon Jonsson is appearing on an episode of Villa Wellness. Seriously, that is BAD. Jon is a renowned model, who won the contest fair-and-square, and he is a great person. He chose Singapore because of the climate and all the opportunities. Opportunities EXCLUDING appearing on a show full of women trying to lose weight. Not that I’m discriminating, but the producers could have sent in someone like, maybe, Yoanna House (ANTM Cycle 2 Winner). They’re all females, after all. Jon, I feel for you, man.

Quote of the Day

“I’m 40. That doesn’t mean I can’t still keep having sex.”
– Sandra Bullock makes a comeback on my blog!

What’s Hot…and Not!

What’s Hot…
The new Season of America’s Next Top Model (ANTM), which recently ended in the US but just started in Singapore. A fainting, a bitch with an attitude, the strong personality of Tyra Banks, and a girl who’s tougher than most guys at my school, are all in the first episodes of ANTM. Throw in Miss J. Alexander, the runway trainer we’ve all come to love, and the sharp wittiness of Janice Dickinson, and we’ve got a reality TV show that is real reality.

What’s Not…
Manhunt. Recently ended in Singapore, and won’t ever have a second season in the US (we hope). Comments? Read the above, only reverse everything.

The BITCH Files

Featuring my bitchy endeavors throughout my school life…

Now this isn’t exactly a bitchy thing that took place in school, but it is VERY, VERY HOT!
It happened a few months ago…
I was at Heartland Mall Shopping Centre.
I was very very tired after the whole week and I was there just to look at some stuff, perhaps, and enjoy myself.
There was this OSIM sales going on there, and there were all these disgusting-looking chee go peks there, all cheekily smiling at the pretty bitches that walked past instead of doing there job.
I was queuing up at KFC while my father was at Delifrance (now Bistro Delifrance), and then those bastards thought I was alone, and helpless.
So they said, “Eh, boy, you left your drink behind!” Then they held up this empty bottle which clearly wasn’t mine, wanting to see my frantic reaction and thankful gratitude for something that wasn’t mine. They weren’t counting on meeting a bitch.

I said, “Firstly, that’s not my bottle. I don’t have such an unclassy bottle. Secondly, I would suggest you get back to your work before I get over there and talk to your manager about your preposterous working attitude and write a professional letter of complaint. Thirdly, are my words too chim for you?”
Obviously they were. The chee go peks were very shocked, and went back to their work. Oh, but I wasn’t done yet.
Later, while my father and I were planning to leave, I purposely dragged him to the large sales area. Those chee go peks saw us, and ran up to entertain us, for we were one of their rare customers. My father feigned interest, but I quickly said, right in the manager’s presence,
“Daddy, don’t buy from these people. Those men were very mean, and very very rude to me just now. They made fun of me some more.” I said in my sweetest voice. “Let’s go to some other shop, like maybe AIBI.”
We left the angry manager to his disgusting workers.
All this was done in, that’s right, a PUBLIC PLACE.