Soo Wei, from Power 98, has left, and for that I am very sad. We must all commend her of the past two years of amazing grace and magic as she brought the 2Nite show to the amazing results it is now.
At the same time, I am pleased to announce the return of Otelli Edwards to the Perfect 10 crew. You rock, gurrrl!
“Life is all about chances, and making mistakes. When you have taken chances and made mistakes, nothing else can stop you.”
- Power 98 DJ Soo Wei
What’s Hot…
Stefanie Sun is coming to Singapore!!! Wait. She IS a Singaporean. BUT.. she’s coming here to perform after 3 YEARS!!! YAY!!!! Can’t wait!!! Must GET TICKETS!!!
What’s Not…
Alias is gonna be cancelled. WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! I noe, it’s old news, but WHAT?! NEVER! But it’s the truth. Alias fans, Alias will be cancelled after 5 seasons because
a) Jennifer Garner is pregnant
b) Michael Vaughn’s actor (the Vartan guy) has a lot of movie proposals
c) It was put on the same timeslot as Survivor: Guatemala, so ratings fell drastically
d) JJ Abrams wanted to take a break, especially proven because he had shared some producing duties with Lost co-producer.
Shocking, but true.
Yes, Mariah Carey is white. A lot of people has said it, and I believe so, too.
Now, Question Number 2. What is the hardest thing to control?
My neighbour Toni says, “Children.”
My mother says, “Terrorists.”
A good friend says, “An out-of-control car!!! HAHA!!!”
My father, “The Laws of Physics.”
Another good friend, “Control freaks. Really.”
Toni’s hunky swimmer son, Clement says, “An orgasm.”
Toni’s slutty softball-player daughter, Claire says, “Children.”
C. Yeo, another good fren, says, “Sleepiness.”
One of my teachers says, “Pee.”
I say… “Hmm? What is the hardest, ot toughest thing to control?”
Let me ponder this over. Answer coming soon.
Today me and a girl-friend Sheryl (aka Shelly, an old fren) went out to walk walk. We decided to go to the library first because I had some books to deposit, and then we would go Jubilee have dinner and do a bit of music shopping.
Many interesting things happened on The Bus 73 to AMK Library.
1. We met the prettiest and ugliest woman. The prettiest was this amazing lady, with very large butt and large bosom. She plopped herself on the aisle seat. This old uncle came on board. What a chee go pek he was. He immediately saw the woman and tried to take the window seat, by doing so able to get a peek at the two luscious mountains. He squeezed in, but the woman immdiately scooted to the side to prevent the chee go pek’s roaming eyes to take in the scenery. The uncle kept shooting looks at the woman’s gigantic ones, pretending to be looking out the window. Then got to the MRT station stop. The woman got up, and now had to squeeze out. Her enormous butt wiped the man on his face, and I swear he SMILED. EWWWW.
2. The ugliest woman was also on the bus. She was in already when Shelly and I went aboard. She was this old auntie who had pockmarks the size of moon craters, and gigantic bumps on her forehead. Not pimples, some skin clots or something. Shelly and I looked at each other and grinned. Plus, the auntie put her groceries on the seat NEXT to her and on the seats ACROSS her. I was like, “What, your market stuff very important meh? Prada and Gucci, yes, but that? Veggies and fish? Ugh.”
3. Hot women do not take the bus. Now almost after Shelly and I got on, this very very muscular and handsome man got on with this pretty, very sexy lady holding his hand. They were obviously dating. And the woman did not look too pleased. They were a perfect match. They were a perfect couple. The man was holding brochures for… Surprise Surprise, Cars. Yes, he was holding brochures for Colt, Renault, and Toyota. The woman was quite miffed at taking the bus. Her hands were folded over her chest in a Bitch Off, Bastard way. The man was at a loss. He was putting his muscular arm around her shoulders, and she shrugged it off in reply. They kept the shrugging game until they moved to the back of the bus.
Shelly asked me, “Why are people in love sooo stupid?”
I replied, “It doesn’t occur to them?”
Shelly: “No. They all behave like this. Little tantrums, whines, anger management needs.”
I said, “I guess it’s something that only people in love do.”
Isn’t that true? Funny what the bus 73 brings out.
Is My Mother A Blonde?
That could be the title of a new horror story. Or a comedy. Or it could be a non-fiction account.
I truly believe my mother is not a blonde. When I say that, I mean DUMB Blonde. But then, her actions make me think otherwise. Let us review the evidence.
Yesterday (Saturday) I dragged my unwilling mother to Harry Potter and GOF because almost everybody I knew either already watched it or has made ‘reservations’ to (hor? Alaric!) and so I was without a partner. So my mom, dad and myself went to Harry Potter. My dad is somewhat of a Dan Brown fan, and not a J.K fan, so he just went elsewhere while we watched the movie. My mom finds that J.K Rowling (or Hawkling, as she calls J.K) is some rich bitch whose one little concept made her a billionaire. She refuses to add to that billion, or anyone else’s billion. But she had to, because I dragged her to Cathay Cineplex @ Orchard, and she is a sucker for shopping.
At Pastamania, my mom pondered over the choice of pasta. My father went for that one with the chicken sausage inside. My mom thought it for a VERY long time.
Mother: “Ummm, what’s this?” (pointing to the menu)
Countergirl: “Shellfish.”
Mother: “That’s like, fish, right?”
Countergirl: “No. Those are clams.”
Mother: “Clams? Like, starfish?”
Countergirl: “No. Crustaceans. I think.”
Mother: “I thought crabs were crustaceans.”
Me: “Mommy, please hurry up. People are queueing too.”
Daddy: “Cecilia, please. This is not Biology 101.”
Mother: “Okay, I take the one with the crabs.”
Countergirl: “Clams.”
Mother: “Yeah. Clams.”
Countergirl: “Choice of pasta?”
Mother: “Got mee-pok?”
Me: “HAR?!”
Mother: “Kidding. Fettucini. Ayor, you all ah, can’t take a joke one.”
Okay. So we were walking around after lunch, waiting for the 5.30 movie. Then I heard Maggie Lim’s voice, you know, Maggie Lim, from Power 98? Yeah, we heard her voice, and so my dad suggested we go over to see what the commotion was about. We crossed the road, and to this large place where they were all gawking to see what was the max amount of people that could be squeezed into a Ssamyong (sp.) car.
Mother: “Eh, what they doing?”
Daddy: “I dunno. Some car contest.”
Mother: “Wah! Can win car one!”
Daddy: “Really? They’re trying to squeeze people in.”
Mother: “So strange. First put hand on car. Then drive the car the longest. Now squeeze into a car. Next they’ll have people trying to assemble cars.”
Maggie: (using mike) Winning team gets $10, 000 and free Nokia phones for every contestant!”
Mother: “Cheah! So cheapskate. Phones who cannot buy?”
Daddy: “Ayor. Squeeze liddat very easy touch touch one.”
Mother: “Touch what touch? Like you can do anything squeezed like that.”
Next we went to John Little VERY far down the road to shop. I bought new track shoes, Urban Warehouse tees (2 at a bargain!!) and also a winter coat for the Korean trip. My mom was looking at this very sleazy-like blue blouse that was selling at 80% off its original price, at $18!!!
Mother: Ayor. So revealing. So low somemore.
Daddy: Good what.
Mother: Of course for you good lah.
Daddy: You go to work liddat and see? Your boss surely give you promotion one.
Mother: I get promoted with my own efforts! I don’t do such… things one.”
Daddy: “So upright. (While I clap) I do something else to get promoted.”
Mother: “Oh YUCK!”
Daddy: “WHAT?! NO! I buy the boss lunch.”
Mother: “And liddat u get promoted? Wha, your boss damn good one. My office, got one bloody bitch (yes, she DID say that) go around flashing so much flesh it was about to spill out. The boss wasn’t even moved.”
Daddy: “Really? He so resistant?”
Mother: “The boss was a woman.”
In the movie. “AVADA KEDAVRA!” and Cedric Diggory dies.
Mother: “AYOR! SO lousy one. One Abra Cadabra then die liao.”
Me: “Shhh.”
Wormtail waddles in.
Mother: “I think he’s a killer.”
Me: “He killed Cedric Diggory. OF COURSE he’s a killer!”
Mother: “Yeah, hor.”
Wormtail chants and does some strange spell.
Mother: “Oh I know! That mad-eye fellow must be bad one! He carried the cup in what!”
Me: “Yeah.”
Suddenly the Grim Reaper statue in the graveyard moves, and my mother screams. She is the only one who does that, and everybody looks.
Me: “Tsk. Mommy…”
Mother: “What? These people all have hearts of stone one.”
Voldemort monologues. Then Death Eaters flame in.
Mother: “I tell you, I need that tattoo thing. My workers never listen to me.”
Voldemort talks somemore. Then Harry Potter begins to duel with Voldemort.
Mother: “Siao. Got Harry Potter liao. Dun kill him, somemore play around with him. This Voldemort damn sick.”
Me: “Relax. He’s the hero. He must live what.”
Mother: “Hero die then more fun.”
Me: “Tsk. So bad.”
Priori Incantatum effect takes place. Ghostly things appear.
Mother: “Wah. One Expetherdamus (‘Expelliarmus’) can counter one Abra Cadabra? Expesiallmus so powerful meh?”
Me: “I dunno. J.K Rowling write one.”
Mother: “That’s why I say, her concept not good. In such a situation, I would make Voldemort suddenly grow weak, because he was just revived, and needs energy. He aims at Harry Potter, but his spell miss, and hits one of the Death Eaters. Then there is pandemonium. In the chaos Harry Potter escapes.”
Me: “Did you watch the Afternoon Channel 8 Movie again?”
Mother: “Maybe.”
Is my mother really a blonde who dyed her hair? Maybe. Most likely not.
Dear Mr Mike Newell,
I am a white woman, and I am pissed… (Just kidding! White Chicks, lol!!) Seriously, I have a few things to say to you, sir. Firstly, congratulations on shrinking a near-500 page tome to a 157-minute film. Secondly, WHAT THE FUCK have you done to the MOVIE?!
Let us get this straight. I have immense respect for Chris Columbus. And that 3rd-movie director, but I forgot his name. Now, Mr Newell, honestly, I hope you die and never return to direct any other Harry Potter movie for as long as you live. Any Stallone one, yes, but not one with Daniel Radcliffe. I’m not being cruel. You really made me confused.
The first half-hour. I was already unhappy. The Quidditch World Cup was reduced to a “Let the match… begin!” by Cornelius Fudge and that’s it. We have no hint about who won except for a “Must be the Irish celebrating” by Fred/George Weasley which was nearly not heard over the loud screams outside. The whole Death Eater supposedly levitating Muggles never happened. There were just a bunch of masked men walking around, and it totally contradicts the book’s fact of the Eaters being scared of the Dark Mark, and they supposedly striking fear into Mudbloods’ hearts. Yeah right. I nearly burst out laughing. Never mind. I know movies aren’t supposed to follow books entirely. But honestly, we need a healthy dose of Quidditch.
The second half-hour. I see Rupert Grint and I vomited. I see Rupert Grint each time and I vomit. What happened to him?! He looks all grown up! TOO grown up! Never mind. Not the director’s fault. The problem? What is the deal about the Beauxbatons girls? Never mind the “ah-ah-ah” and the butterflies swooping all over the place (I wanted to do that myself, to tell you the truth). I was shocked about the costumes. The Beauxbatons girls are supposed to have slightly-silver hair and much more revealing dresses. I must however, congratulate you again, because the girl casted as Fleur Delacour really looked the part. Then… I am shocked. Did I see Albus Dumbledore grab Harry by the neck and growl in a guttural tone? Oh my goodness. Dumbledore does not do that. I preferred the dead guy who played Albus. Less dangerous-looking, more kindly. Ugh.
The third half-hour. Basically uneventful. The whole dragons thing was fine, unlike a lot of what most people say. The whole Tour-de-Hogwarts people have been talking about is fine. I was thrilled by the dragons chase; it was superbly exciting. The Yule Ball was very fun, and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole dance event. However, I didn’t like Hermione’s crying and her whole gaga scene. She is a strong woman, NOT a weak girl! Come on! BE a bitch! The second task was also pretty okay, and I liked it overall. Even the whole Moaning Myrtle being despo part.
The fourth half-hour. By this time I am dreadfully sick of Rita Skeeter. Imagine my groan as she appears once again in the memory in the Pensieve. I was like, get that bitch outta my face. And how dangerous was she? In the book she was portrayed to be this crazy bitch with a talent for gossip (which bitch isn’t?) but in the movie, there was no such thing. She seemed nearly harmless. No problem if they tweak the memories to make them different from the book, in the Pensieve. But I hated the part when they say Barty Crouch Sr. is dead. Was that even Barty Crouch Sr.? That part was fleeting, and not at all nice to watch. Who killed him? For those who did not read the book, no one would suspect Barty Crouch Jr. killed him. How did Sr. get there? Lots of loopholes. Stick to the book, Mike.
The last half-hour. I HATED this part. THE FUCKIN’ MAZE?! What happened to the Sphinx and her riddle? What happened to the mad Boggart? What happened to the upside-down mist? Understood if they replaced the Skrewt with the snapvines. But the maze was a bore! Crushing flora? Hardly a threat! There was not a single living thing other than the Champions in that maze, save for the killer plants and ants on them! UGH! And who bewitched Krum? Of course we know it was the disguised Barty Crouch Jr., but how? What happened to Fleur? Only in the end we know, and the whole thing sucked. Even the revelation was dreadful, and the part where Voldemort and Harry fought (which was supposed to be the climax) was boring and dreadful. Even that sad part in the Great Hall at the end was hardly enough to bring forth emotion. UTTERLY DREADFUL.
P.S Can’t wait to catch In Her Shoes, the new movie starring Cameron Diaz. Promises to be a fun movie and touching at the end.
Love,
Your greatest fan (Yeah, right)
Are they too old? Looking at the present sales rates of their new albums, I’d say not.
1. Enya. New album. Forgot its title, but you can’t miss that album in stores. People say it’s very good, that she uses a bit more lyrics that the persistent humming she’s been using in the past. A new album from her last Greatest Hits in 2001, this is one artiste that’s not going down yet.
2. The Corrs. Their new album in 2004 says all. Although their new classical album (again. forget that Irish title) isn’t all that to speak about, it’s still unique. Excellent!
3. Madonna. Hung Up? You bet. Her Confessions on a Dance Floor is the newest album since 2002. Excellent work, after that weird break in 2003-2004 for the Kabbala nonsense. At’cha.
4. Ricky Martin. We haven’t seen much of him, unless you count William Hung using his song. His I Don’t Care single rocked the charts, and throw in the new Alright track, it is one album to behold. Very cool tunes to jump to.
5. Mariah Carey. Emancipation of Mimi is the new album that came out early this year. This album is the continuation of her career b4 her breakdown earlier this decade. Looks like Island Records really lucked in at headhunting her, after her previous label STUPIDLY dropped her.
6. Shania Twain. Her Greatest Hits being out in 2004, she is already working on a new country album that is reported to feature Toby McGraw. That said, she has a lot going for her already, what with the success of Party for Two and Shoes. You go, girl!
7. Westlife. Remarkably, Westlife is still… well… alive. Westlife’s jazz album in 2004 made everyone groan, mostly at the lack of originality. Honestly now, who in their right mind would associate originality with Westlife? Already their new album has a copy from Josh Groban, You Raise Me Up, which, if I’m not wrong, came from Barbra Streisand.
8. Backstreet Boys. Everyone is already clapping at the remarkable comeback of the boys, who were all over the place ever since their last success in… hmm… when was that? In any case, their new 2005 album is leaving some impression.
9. INXS. Honestly, this can’t be counted really because their frontman died. But in any case, they’re now back, bigger and better, with a newer frontman that rocks as well… No pun intended. Great work. They have a new album out also.
10. The last one on this list is Shakira. Her last considerable hit was in 2002-2003 with Inevitable. But still, if you count Latin hits or other languages, she did make some splash. This time she’s back with an English version of her hit 2004 Spanish album Oral Fixacion. This is titled, surprise surprise, Oral Fixacion Volume 2. Hmmm…
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