Quote of the Day

“The role of a geisha is artistic. It’s beautiful, and very magnificent. People should not liken these artisans to prostitutes.”

– Ziyi Zhang says so. Yeah right!

Memoirs of LOUSY!

Memoirs of a Geisha. Here’s 10 short words why you shld not watch the show.

Pumpkin
Riding
Ending
Chairman
Geisha
Mizuage
Rice-cake
Dr.Crab (technically 2 words)
American(s)
Sex

That should sum it all up. Want to know how? Here’s how I link the words into three short sentences which will make you think twice about watching this bestseller novel turned cinematic nightmare.

Sayuri was a geisha who liked the Chairman and wanted to fall in love and have sex with him. Her mizuage (virgin vagina) was up for sale, and she sold it to Dr. Crab in the form of a rice-cake, hence her first time was with an old ah-pek. She had a friend called Pumpkin, who liked riding Americans and smoking American cigarettes, who, at the ending, sabotaged Sayuri’s chances of getting back with the Chairman, hence forcing her to have sex with Americans instead.

Sex appears twice, Americans thrice and the ending was really atrocious. The whole Pumpkin-likes-riding-Americans, it means Pumpkin likes TO RIDE Americans. Nothing can be said about the ending (the start was overall good, but in the middle it started to drag), except it was horrifying and utterly frightening. Watch it and be amazed, shocked, or quite amused. If you’re a pervert, or a fucking fool, you’ll be turned on instead.

*** 3 Stars!

My Cool Life

Someone slap me when I say I have a cool life again.

Today. First day of CNY. Not that it was exceptionally depressing… I had an entire 22-episode box set of Friends to watch, and my mom finally gave in, and decided she liked The Eurythmics, prompting my neighbor Toni to say, “Finally. I thought u were never going to like that boyband.”

Then it was dinnertime. Not that it was exceptionally depressing… It was a family thing, so Toni’s family and our family combined, and decided to head out somewhere. Where? Hmmm… Centrepoint? Northpoint? Eastpoint? Southpoint? Westpoint? Wait, are there such things?

So in the end we ended up arguing, and we headed to Serangoon Gardens, which really is a… 5 minute walk. We tried going to 5-Star Hainanese Restaurant, but the queue there was damn long. Peranakan House? Sorry, they said. You gotta wait. Wait… and Wait… and the empty tables in the House were practically gathering dust. So we tried Sushi Tei, which made Toni say, “Are you kidding? No more money after ang pows lah!”

So we tried all the coffee shops, but my mom requested, “Clearly, there is NO air-con!” Maybe BBQ Steak and Ribs?

“This is CNY, not AMY (American New Year!)!” said Claire. It was sooo déja vú all over again as we argued once more over WHERE in Serangoon Gardens we shld eat. Chomp Chomp? Nope. Coffee Bean? Forget it. Pow Sing? Not open.

In the end, we went to the ONE place that was cheap, air-conditioned and closest to our houses. You guessed it. McDonald’s. The queue at M’s was like a queue to a Slipknot autograph session… nonexistent. We bought a variety of Fán-burgers, and other crap like Fish McDippers (I liked the tartar sauce). But I didn’t really eat much cause I was very depressed after the whole food fight (literally!) And some gay guy in McDonald’s kept staring at Clement’s biceps. I lost my appetite again as I thought about the possibilities of gay guys hitting on potential bed partners in a fast food restaurant… (Bishan Gay, anybody?!) Teenage, no less. Sigh… Then my parents argued again about who gave a bigger ang pow… While Toni and her husband LF fought about which side of the family was more important. Eventually Clement lost his appetite too, as the gay guy’s eyes started to roam down the swimmer’s body… (Clement is a school swimmer and water polo player). So in the end I took home my McSpicy, which I shall not eat due to an image of old chee go peks humping stuck in my head.

From happy to depressing… in one day. Is it any wonder I’m gonna start listening to Slipknot soon?

No idea

I have no fucking idea how to post music videos on Blogger. And Blogger Help, doesn’t really help at all. Maybe I should ask Biz Stone directly. Wonder if he’ll help me. In any case, I’m going around asking ppl for directions and instructions. If you know, please tell me. There culd be a reward, or at least, your efforts will be greatly rewarded.

For now, at least, I’m trying.

“What You Waiting For?” Gwen Stefani

Happy CNY!

Chinese New Year 2006 (a.k.a When Australians Come)

CNY 2006. Also Known As, WAC. When Australians Come. This year’s CNY saw Australians coming to Singapore, and I had the distinct pleasure of interacting and meeting with them. Now here’s the lowdown on my cool CNY 2006.

First up are the two Aussie hunks who were in our class temporarily for an exchange program. They are funny, witty, charming and very very NICE! Here are some pics…

Dylan Hughes and me (above)

Adam… Something and me (above)

Jin Sei (ewwwwww!) and Adam… (above)

Cute David and Dylan (above)

The boys don’t like being shot.

Quah’s lesson! Last day of schl b4 CNY. Look at her long legs!!! (above)

William (the SMART guy I sit nxt to in class, above) Out of point, I noe.

Class Yu-sheng (above)! Fucking unhygenic. Wadeva lah.

WHO IS THE KOPE-PER (above)?

Enough of school. CNY. Must focus on FAMILY! Reunion dinner 2day. Hence, must show photos of my Australian cousins, in town for JUST THIS WEEK!!!

First, a walk around the neighborhood (above)

Brianna (we call her Bree) and me! Rhymes. (above)

Ze return of ze CUTE COUSINS!!! (above)

It’s all Hawaiian attire (above)

Alexandria (we call her Alex) and me!!! (above)

Awww baby, just woken up? (above)

Sisters Alex and Bree (above)

The other cousin (above)

What’s u say, cuz? How long is your…??!!! (above)

Whoops! Don’t mind if I cut in! (above)

It’s all attitude, Bree. (above)

Another cousin (above)

TREMENDOUS FUN!!!!!! (above)

Ermm… Three generations??? (above)

Well, just like that, my CNY 2006 post has come to an end. Soooo tired… shall finish up the Quote of the Day and misc. posts tmr… Yawn… Plus, I am so stressed abt Amazon.com screwing me up with its stupid Account problems… Tsk larh.

Quote of the Day

“I’m gonna be pretty kick-ass by the time I reach thirty, and I can’t wait!”
- Clearly Rose McGowan is already thirty

Gonna be busy

Here’s a prewarning in case u’d need it.

In the next few weeks, I’ll be terribly busy. Terribly being only the usual posts once every week, or maybe even less. The dry spell will run off soon, I hope, but until then, I’ll be logged down with work.