Take a gun and shoot the TV

Singapore Idol has begun its Season 2.

And like all Idol seasons of any country that I watch, I will inevitably want to draw out a gun and shoot my TV.

For it is the audition round.

The auditions are basically a giant, one-and-a-half hour of unadulterted comedy and murder of music. These are times when singers (the professionals) regret ever making music to the point these ordinary people who wanna be extraordinary are able to murder and maul their songs.

I currently am between the stages of laughing and wanting to tug off my hair and shoot the TV with an imaginary gun that currently is in the form of a Blackberry.

I really am shocked by the whole quality of contestants.

It’s really very questionable.

We have the really good ones. The ones that can really sing. That stand a chance of making it.

Then we have the ones that kill. The ones that wield their voice like a sword, slashing, cutting up and mauling anybody unfortunate enough to pay attention.

Oh my god. I barely survived the auditions show that featured the contestants that kill with their voice.

Although I must say some are really really good. Like, for example, that girl in RJC. And also that long-haired girl who sang Colours of The Wind by Vanessa Williams. Then there’s the one who sang My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion.

Some really good ones. Now if I could get through the horrible ones, I would feel glad and happy.

On a separate note, I am loving the four judges this season. Dick, Florence, Jacintha and Ken are all professionals and they seem to be more experienced and quick to decide this season. Plus, they are much more entertaining.

Dick: You sing like a bird. A crow.

Dick: That was uh… What was that?

Ken: You made that song sound very scary.

Florence: See you later, Cowboy.

Ken: You are making a fool out of yourself. If there ever is a third season, please do not join.

Jacintha: What? Campfire in the moonlight? Oh, Can’t Fight The Moonlight.

Florence: You are… very entertaining. (Which basically means, you suck.)

Dick: Get out. Ah! I made a promise not to say Get Out this entire season and you just made me break that promise.

Ken: I am not impressed.

Dick: You know, you can be a model. But singing just isn’t for you. Sorry.
Contestant leaves.
Jacintha: Did you see his face? You made his day by saying he looks like a fashion model!
Florence: Really? You meant that?
Dick: NO!
Ken: You were lying, weren’t you?
Dick: Yeah! Of course!

Contestant: Can I sing another song?
Ken: No, you only get one shot.
Contestant: Just let me sing, please.
Dick: What for? We’re not gonna let you in anyway.
Contestant: Well, maybe I’ll just brighten up your day!
Dick: I doubt so. You’ll probably make it worse.

Contestant opens his mouth.
Ken starts laughing.
Ken: Could you (heehee), uh, (snort, haha) give us (heeeeheee) two minutes?
Contestant goes to one side.
Ken: (starts laughing uncontrollably)
Jacintha: And Ken thanks you for coming.

The contestant, Sean Ng, is spinning the hula hoop while singing.
Dick: Well, the hula hoop was spinning so much I felt like vomiting. Or maybe that was just your voice.

Well, at least someone’s making me laugh.