Sometimes, I can’t help but feel that everything in one’s life can be so fragile, and so easily broken.
Things you know happen around you all the time, and you are powerless to stop these things happen. The only control you have over your own life is the decisions you make, and that’s the extent of power you have over your own life. Sometimes, once you make the decisions, simple things like words can break them and shatter your being.
Think about it.
As students, first and foremostly, it is difficult for us to go through our life without influence and others’ controls.
Parents and teachers control us, or control our paths and directions. Their purpose is clear; they are there to help us succeed, they are there to give us the best they have to offer, and they are there to help us along.
Though in my experience, there are a handful, but mostly a handful, of teachers whose purpose is not that; their purposes are to further their own careers, or they just want to get things done without concern for their students’ welfare.
Then there is the influence of peers. The fashion advice, the ‘in’-crowd, the drugs, booze, smoking and sex influences.
This isn’t USA, but these stuff still happen. Their influence still holds strong.
Am I living it right? You may wonder.
I go for CCAs, I go for class, I prepare my portfolio, I get involved in activities, and I need to still find time to find myself.
Am I living it right?
You ARE living it fine.
If you’re not smoking, not taking drugs, not overly-sexing yourself up. If you’re not overly stressed till the point you cannot think clearly or you find life meaningless. If you have enough things in life to look forward to (and you will, even if you think you don’t), and you can still be yourself. Then, yes, you are living it fine.
Not extremely well, but you’ll be just fine.
There is always the presence of others and sideways factors in your life – and that’s okay. Just know who you are. Let these factors exist, and you can even use some to guide you, or like I do, to provide inspiration and material for blog posts and scripts. But remember you have no one to answer to but yourself.
I’m writing this as much for myself as for some of this blog’s readers.
People have been saying things to me, have been attacking me, have been criticizing me, have been commenting on me, have been depriving me, have been lying to me, have been fighting against me.
And when you’re at home, just thinking, just finding inspiration and yourself, you’ll wonder what is going on; why are things so different from days when concepts were simpler and life was less stressful and less dependent on others’ mindsets and views.
Things are different now. We wonder, but that’s all we can do.
Move on, and let’s live life loud.
SONNET FOR A FRIEND
Dedicated to: Nabilah! Who left our Lit class VERY late last term, and whom we miss for her bubbly energy and antics! Still see her during lit lectures and in canteen though! I agreed to write this 14-line sonnet for her! She’s been waiting a long time for it, ‘cos I promised to put it up, but I’m only putting it up now! 
When was this sun ever so cold?
Like clams of oceans lost their hearts
Where men died under painful bouts
The spirits of they, so brave and bold.
Loss, green-eyed beast, burning time
Gone was the friend who could soothe
Gone is the rock, from under which hid truth
That exists purely in a mariner’s rime.
But end opens the new door
Loss is but a word to speak
For one who leaves now leaves the bleak
She enters a world not seen before
The turning world moves, as they said it would
And hath never a woman, who had such solitude.
Seems kinda emo and depressing at the start, but it gets better, volta and all.
Keep things going, everyone!
